Alpha Crasis

You've entered my subconscious, alongside childhood friends Peter Thorburn and Patrick Wickering... Not even my own mother inhabits that space. Thank god you're there now, it was getting lonely.

I'm not as good a man as I could be.

I have long-standing childhood traumas, and fears.

I've always had a hard time talking about these things, or doing anything proactive about them.

These "problems", combined with day to day stresses leave me feeling suffocated at times.

To expound: I feel anxious and apprehensive. I have hypochondriac-like tendencies, and become incredibly introverted.

As a result, I often neglect the things that matter most, family and friends, because I become fixated on my "problems."

Gradually, I'm learning to combat these issues.

To anyone I've done wrong or neglected, I apologize.

I'm trying to better myself, and that's the best I can do.

Open iTunes or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library.
Number of songs:
24,798

Sort by song title:
First - "!!!!!!!" The Roots
Last – "þversögn" Sigur Ros

Sort by time:
First – "Fall And Splat-SFX" Carl Stalling (0:01)
Last – "Disintegration Loop 1.1" William Basinski (1:03:29)

Sort by album:
First - ""!!!" !!!
Last – "Zwei Photonen" Justus Köhncke

Top Five Most Played Songs:
"The End Of Medicine" by The New Pornographers, "All I Want" by Joni Mitchell, "Universe" by The Microphones, "Free" by Cat Power and "Disposable Parts" by Enon.

First song that comes up on Shuffle:
"Signal To Signal" by Lab Report

Find "sex", How many songs come up?
136

Find "death", How many songs come up?
151

Find "love", How many songs come up?
817

I love Daure.

I'm like a migrant bird with a plastic can holder around it's neck.

Maybe Danny was right. The goddamn fluoride...

Remember the arcade inside of Putt Putt on Saturday mornings? Best 25¢ spent every week. Little lethal shit sitting at that stool with the torn red (to match the uniform) imitation leather covering, expelling yellow (to match the hair) foam stuffing every which way. Kicking all comers teeth down their throats, and up and around their sinuses 'til they peeked out their noses. That one, he looked like Dennis... From, "Head of the Class."

You were surprised when it was just padding. Lollipop factory tourist.

It has to be bigger, than any and all of that.

Dig for it, under the dermis. Somewhere, maybe in the echoes, more synapses fire, more hands reach out through the clear.

Persist.

Persist.

Otherwise, when they bloom... You'll miss them.

25 years... Man, I swear everyone of them flies by exponentially faster that the last one.

Thank you to Heather for a wonderful birthday evening! We had an awesome dinner at an Asian Bistro in Novi. I had duck and Asian pancakes... and Berry flambe for dessert with vanilla icecream. My boo got me some awesome new clothes, including a t-shirt with a unicorn on it, teehee! I love my baby.

Thank you to Pravin, Daure, Mom, Andy and all of the Ghostly Crew for your birthday wishes. You guys really made my day!

Last night was great, too... First I celebrated John Lloyd's birthday at Mongolian BBQ, and then Heather came over and we went to Sam Valenti IV's for the Skeletons show. The guys turned out a great performance. Matt Mehlan (the lead singer) is such a talented musician. He played keytar, guitar, trumpet, a trashcan, and various other bells. On top of that, he's a genuinely nice guy. He offered me a place to stay in NY anytime I'm in the area.

I was the official party photographer last night, and I got some great shots. I'll post some soon.

My Mom, Brother and I had a great time in Myrtle Beach, SC last week.

We rented a condo right on the water, had a lot of great food (grouper with black beans, and plantains at The Divine Fish House took the cake)... We did some shopping at the outlet malls, went to the night clubs, Ripley's Aquarium, and even saw Pat Benetar in concert at the House of Blues. Fun Trip!

Business-wise things are going extremely well. John, Mike and I just finished our first National TV commercial for "Egismoz" a new store that sells new, and re-certified electronics at discount prices. We are extremely proud of the spot, which took us nearly 3 weeks to complete from start to finish. Look for it to air on most cable networks in the next week or so.

Congratulations to my sweetie pie for getting into school at SVSU!

Things I am excited about:

Seeing my b00 tomorrow!
Ableton Live 5.0
New Computer
New York in less than a month!! Seeing my best friend Pravin, and meeting Daure for the first time after talking to her for 7 years!

w00T!!

New car + New phone + Intonation = awesome.

Heather and I had a great time at the Intonation music festival last weekend. My sweetie pants came over to my place Thursday night for some canoodling. We got up Friday and saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was dope on a rope. Johnny Depp = best character actor ever... with the possible exception of Gary Oldman.

Anywho, We got on the road at about 3:30 PM, and arrived in Chi-town around 8ish. Then we proceeded to drive around like the directionally challenged people we are for about 2 hours, in every way you could think of but the right way... Though some of the blame has to be placed on Google Maps. Shame, shame know thy name once all-knowing knowledge tree!

Chris at the reception desk of the Hilton Garden inn is the new Google Maps, represent! So yeah... with Chris' help we got back on track and into our hotel.


We lived off of grilled cheese for a day and a half... Heather brought this fancy grilled cheese maker that cuts the bread into fun triangles, oooo la!

We got all aboard the red trolly to the airport to the L-Train to the loopty loop to Union Park in 45 mins flat. Then there was the line of lines to get inside... It stretched back over a block, and was moving about as slow as that bartender "Flippy" in the world bartending championships during the speed round (for my food TV brothas). Oh man, worst analogy ever... Oh well. So, we got into the park, and checked out all the sweet bands. I'm not going to bother describing that. Just read this stuff:

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/features/live/festivals/intonation05/

Highlights for me were: DFA 1979, Andrew Bird, Out Hud, and Les Savy Fav.

My feet hurt alot, and my little toe on my right foot went numb, it's still kinda numb. Those are the breaks though.

I'll go back next year.

What a sexy sexy machine... Next week I will be the owner of a 2005 Honda Civic EX 4-door sedan with magnesium paint job, alloy wheels, moon roof and keyless entry... I can't f'ing wait!


And to top it off, I got $55 off my monthly payment due to my extreme bargaining powers!

I got to hang out with Pravin and Nick last night. To my delight and surprise, Pravin was in town for the weekend, he called me up and told me he was chilling over at our friend Nick's house. I hadn't seen Nick in over 8 months, and it was great to see them both. We just chilled out and watched Team America.

Earlier in the day I went over to my business partner Mike's house for a little get together with some friends and some clients. It was really nice to unwind for a bit. I think I scored a web design gig out of it, too... For a guy named Chris, who is starting a wedding film company.

Today I got to see my beautiful girlfriend. We went to a dinner party for her great-aunt, who turned 80... Tomorrow we are going over to Johnny Lloyd's house for food and fireworks! w0000t!!

http://www.gigapxl.org/

I have been tagged because of beltpower
List your current six favorite songs, then pick six other people that have to do the same.

Nathan False, "The Sky Was Pink (Holden Remix"
Fiery Furnaces, "Here Comes the Summer"
Deerhoof, "Come See the Duck"
Andrew Bird, "Measuring Cups"
Blonde Redhead, "This is Not"
Talking Heads, "Born Under Punches"

I choose...

tooffdk
dauretanya
thisisaninja
luckyclone
eartheworm
phluteloop

http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF024ADUnicorn.html

Friday was such a bizarre day. It started on a high note, with Jeremy and I forming a legal/financial partnership to make Morphallaxis Integrated Media a real company. John Lloyd and Mike Wilkinson are on board, and I am extremely confident about our potential as a business.

However, right after getting home from meeting with John and Mike, my brother informed me that my Grandma Goldie (my Dad's Mom) had a heart attack. I was beside myself, and incredibly jittery and nervous for her... I pleaded with my brother to go up with me to visit her that night, but he wanted to wait until the next morning. I called Heather soon after, and did not want to burden her, but she was so supportive and agreed to drive with me to McLaren Hospital in Flint, MI that night.

We arrived at the hospital around 1 am, and much to my surprise, my Grandma was awake, and ecstatic to see us. She greeted us with her usual charismatic smile and converation in spite of being cooped up in the hospital bed attached to a mess of wires. After a few minutes of conversing with her, she sat upright and began fiddling with a brace she had on her leg (even after having a heart attack, my Grandmother was just as much a spark-plug as ever!) this prompted the nurse to scurry in and shoo us out of her hospital room.

Heather, and I made a make-shift fort out of 4 waiting room chairs, and fell asleep for a few hours.

We awoke to the site of my cousins, Tara and Tammy, who were followed shortly by my Dad, Grandma's Boyfriend Maurice, her Nephew Don, his wife Janice, and my brother. All 9 of us piled into Grandma's room and circled around her bed. Janice stood at one side of the bed, and Maurice at the other. Each touched Grandma with one hand, while the other interlocked with the person next to them. Janice said a prayer as we all held hands. I am not a religious person in the traditional sense, and neither is my Grandmother, but the prayer seemed very appropriate, and I think she was happy with our effort. Before she left for surgery, I kissed her on the head, and said, "I love you Grandma. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

Roughly 5 hours later, at 2 p.m., the surgeon emerged from the operating room, and uttered the good news that Grandma's triple bypass surgery had been a success. All 9 of us piled into her room and circled around her bed one more time, as a nurse explained the various apparatus attached to her to aid her recovery. My Dad and Brother stayed with her until 11 p.m. last night. My brother returned home to tell me that she hadn't woken up yet, and was still breathing with the aid of a respirator. Much progress has been made already. As of the current time (4:20 PM) She is awake, and off of the respirator. You'll always be a spark-plug, Grandma.

Thank you Heather, for all of your love and support throughout all of this.

This is the best job search engine I've seen... It is a meta search engine and pools all the most popular job search engines on the web, check it out!

http://www.simplyhired.com

http://www.preggers-movie.com/

Idea hijacked from beltpower

01. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.
02. Run a google image search on that word.
03. Reply to this entry & post the first picture the Google Image search returns.
04. Put this in your journal, so I can do the same

Girlfriend + Glasses = Droooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllll

Wine and cheese parties are all kinds of fun, even sans the cheese.

I have yet to read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but I thought the movie was entertaining. A lot of fan children are bitching about the addition of a love interest for the main character... Though I can understand their criticisms, the very nature of the film seems out of the grasp of the audience whom it is being marketed to. So, while the change may not be warranted from a creative perspective, it makes sense from a business perspective, in that it provides the aforementioned audience with something familiar to wrap their brains around in an otherwise perplexing picture.

Mint-chocolate chip ice cream is right good. Even in 40 degree weather. Lectures on Jesus are not good, regardless of the temperature.

I think I've assimilated into working culture, and it makes me feel as though I've vomited up my skeleton. I don't take as many risks as I used to. I love my job, but I'm letting myself get too comfortable... I feel like Panzer Dragoon, a shooter on rails.

Credit cards are awesome, regardless of what your mother tells you. These little plastic rectangles are what allow inherently un-wealthy people such as myself to take more risks and live their dreams. What if our dreams are crap? We'll just end up under a mound of debt with a piss poor credit rating. Not a bad consolation considering this: if you're not contributing toward your own dreams, you're contributing towards the dreams of someone else.

Thinking is my escape, art is my escape, abstraction is my escape, realizing nothing is as important as someone else makes it out to be is my escape, making love to you behind a waterfall is my escape... Sans the cheese? ¡¡¡Think again!!!

Fun week! I Saw the Fiery Furnaces for a second time with Heather and J. O. Felony on Tuesday. They are so amazing live, I can't even comprehend it. I think Miss Eleanor was sick, and it made her vocals kind of gravely, which was pretty hot. I love the song, "Inspector Blancheflower" live, man oh man, it's sooooooo good. I finished mixing "Twistin' Ghosts" the latest hip-hop joint from Switch Stance yesterday with Deck Master D. I'm g33k3d for their next full-length, which is due this summer. I'm starting to get P.A.I.D. to master CDs now, which is pretty sweet, if by pretty I mean incredibly. My Ghostly co-worker Jeremy and I are set on making a business out of this endeavor. Tomorrow is my Mom's birthday. I got her a Pilates ball for her back, because she's been having a lot of back pain over the past year or so. Hopefully it helps. Tonight I do believe I get to see my baby. :)

Wizards really are the most wondrous of all God's creatures.